The Weight of Empowerment in Self-Defense Training

As I stood in the training room after three intense days of Empowerment Self-Defense training for women in Shkodër, a tidal wave of emotions washed over me. The exhaustion lingered, yet beneath that fatigue was a profound sense of joy. I felt fulfilled by the work we had accomplished, but also deeply aware of the critical journey each participant had embarked upon.

During the sessions, I immerse myself fully in understanding the needs of each woman before me. Being present is key—not just physically, but psychologically and emotionally as well. Each participant brings her unique story, shaped by trauma, resilience, fears, and hesitations. I feel the weight of their experiences. Some flinch at the thought of striking, held back by societal conditioning that taught them to remain small and silent. Others react with aggression or withdrawal, relying on self-taught mechanisms that once protected them from vulnerability. In these moments, I find deep admiration for their resilience—the strength they have cultivated to navigate their worlds using whatever tools they had.

To facilitate learning, we use games designed to ease anxiety and reduce the self-criticism that often hinders engagement. The occasional bursts of laughter, the strikes, and the yelling exercises bring much-needed release, allowing participants to lower their defenses and absorb the lessons more fully. Yet I remain acutely aware of those who struggle with coordination or with the paralyzing fear of judgment from others in the room. It is a delicate balance: promoting assertiveness while honoring the complexity of their lived experiences. These women have crafted mechanisms—some nurturing, others harmful—to survive in environments that have often been unforgiving. Their courage in confronting these aspects within themselves is both humbling and inspiring.

After the final session, as my colleague and I packed away the equipment, I reflected on the significance of this work. I felt immense gratitude for the funding that allowed us to reach women in both urban and rural communities. Yet I know that a single training session is not enough. A cultural shift is necessary—an ongoing transformation in mindset that must be cultivated over time. Empowerment is not a one-time event; it is a continuous journey that relies on collective effort, support, and understanding.

For centuries, women have been taught to tolerate unhealthy behaviors, often dismissed as hysterical or aggressive when they finally confront discomfort. Breaking these chains of silence and oppression is challenging, but the rewards are immense. Hearing participants express newfound confidence in their assertiveness and personal safety fills me with an unwavering sense of purpose.

Still, this rewarding experience leaves me with a quiet sadness. As an instructor, I long for more time with each group to delve deeper into the concepts we introduce in longer trainings: mindfulness, awareness, communication, body language, assertiveness, and a wide range of physical self-defense skills. Each training feels like a glimpse into a vast ocean of knowledge, and I often wish we could explore its depths instead of skimming the surface in just a few hours. The need for empowerment is immense, and as I reflected on my own emotional and physical well-being, I recognized the crucial importance of self-care.

How do I take care of myself in such emotionally charged work? Each day, I set aside moments for reflection, allowing myself to process the weight of my role. Mindfulness becomes essential, reminding me that I, too, need to replenish my energy and spirit. Physical activities—nature walks, stretching, or exercise—help me reconnect with my body and release accumulated stress.

Creating a supportive network with fellow instructors is vital. We share our experiences, challenges, and triumphs openly, knowing we are in this together. By taking time to recharge and acknowledge our own struggles, we return to our students with renewed strength and empathy.

The journey toward empowerment is multifaceted, just as each woman’s path is unique. It is messy, beautiful, and profoundly rewarding. Embracing both the weight and the joy of this responsibility has taught me that to uplift others, I must first honor my own needs—both as an instructor and as a woman forging her own path of strength.

Empowerment Self-Defense is not just physical training; it is a mindset shift. It is a commitment to creating space where women can reclaim their voices, set boundaries, and feel confident in their ability to protect themselves. Through this journey, we not only teach skills—we build communities of resilient women ready to embrace their inherent power, honoring the courage and survival mechanisms they have developed along the way. In this environment, they can begin to evolve, step by step, reclaiming their narratives and asserting their strength in the world.